3.1: The Impeccable Path

Few users of this kit have already tried to quit or control their incentive use. If you have ever lapsed despite your intention not to do so, then you have experienced the PIG’s ability to influence your perception and behavior in real-time. Nevertheless, you may still have insufficient respect for this challenge and so make shallow commitments that will fail because they are not sufficiently binding.

In the final analysis, the only thing preventing you from giving in to a temptation is your commitment not to. Failing to honor a commitment sets the precedent that you can make a commitment and then violate it. This precedent immediately weakens the ability of future commitments to restrain impulse. The critical error of making and then breaking a commitment can transform abuse into dependence. The transition is gradual and the individual is generally not aware of the process while it is happening.

The point of making a commitment is to freeze your current motivation, so that you behave in the future the way you now intend, rather than to yield to local temptations. A commitment is your guarantee that you will adhere to your plan no matter the local circumstance. But if you fail to honor your guarantee you have made a liar of yourself, and future guarantees are worth less.

Making a commitment is like making a bet. If you adhere to it you win, and what you win is the ability to do what you said you would do despite local conditions that would motivate you to lapse. But if you fail to honor it you lose this power of your word ─ willpower.
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Odysseus and the Sirens
In a different era Odysseus had to sail within earshot of the Sirens. No sailor could resist their seductive call. The penalty for giving in to this irresistible temptation was death by drowning ─ the fate experienced by all who had come before. Appreciating the danger, Odysseus filled his men's ears with wax so they would not be able to hear the Sirens. Odysseus wanted to hear what the Sirens sounded like, but he knew that if he did he would be unable to resist its pull. The heroic solution: Odysseus pre-committed his future behavior by ordering him men to tie him to the mast of the ship.

The plan was successful ─ When the ship sailed past the island, the Sirens called, but the men could not hear them and kept rowing. Odysseus heard the Sirens, but did not [could not] give in to the temptation, because he was bound to the mast.

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Four Lessons:
Odysseus made his plans in advance. He knew that once he heard the Sirens it would be too late to influence his own behavior – their call would have transformed him from a potent warrior to a helpless victim. You would do well to use Odysseus’ humility as a model. Understand this: when you encounter a high-risk situation you will not have the strengths available to you now, and you are not likely to come up with an effective response during the crisis. To succeed you must have a well planned, well rehearsed coping tactic already in place.

Engineer your environment to minimize your exposure to temptation, so avoid high-risk situations and people ─ at least until the healthy habits have strengthened.

Because no sailor had ever survived the temptation of the Sirens, some might take a defeatist attitude and passively accept the inevitable loss. But Odysseus was a hero ─ he had high self-efficacy ─ and so he approached the challenge as a problem to be solved. He devised a good plan, and executed it well.

But the most important lesson of this story: Even though Odysseus experienced irresistible temptation, he did not give in to it. Before reading on, think back to the story: . . . How did he do it?

Having respect for the power of the Sirens, he pre-committed his future behavior by having himself bound by strong rope. Likewise you can pre-commit your future behavior by being bound by your word. For example: "I am not experiencing temptation now, but I know that I will, and so I give my word that whenever I experience temptation I will move away from it." Willpower refers to your ability to adhere to your commitment regardless of local circumstance.
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Willpower – the power of your intention to influence real world events – is a creation of the psyche and can be gained or lost according to how you actually perform.

Thought Experiment ─ You announce that you need to move some bulky furniture. Ernest, who owns a pickup, offers to help. You point out that he often makes such promises and has let you down many times. He replies, “But this time I really mean it.” He seems sincere, but he seemed sincere the other times too. The objective world demands that the furniture gets moved. Should you count on Ernest showing up, or make your plans assuming he won’t? Events in the objective world have not happened yet so we don’t know whether or not Ernest shows up. However, you have expectations based on your appraisal of Ernest’s likelihood of honoring his word when you need him.

When you make commitments for yourself are you earnest? If you fail to honor a commitment your expectation that you will honor your commitments in the future is diminished – telling yourself: “But this time I really mean it” is not an effective rescue. On the other hand, each time you honor a commitment your belief that you take your word seriously increases, and your willpower increases with it. Once you make a commitment you must permit no exceptions to occur!

Note that the word "decide" is derived from the root "cide," as in sui-cide, homi-cide, insecti-cide, and means "to kill." When, for example, an alcoholic makes the decision to quit drinking, it is understood that [s]he means to kill, once and for all, the option to drink alcohol, and thereby lock out drinking in the future. [The requirement of absolute adherence to the commitment is equally important for those who choose moderation rather than abstinence as an outcome goal].

Typically, one decides to control an impulsive behavior when its costs are more salient than its benefits. Your commitment is your promise to adhere to the plan even when the benefits of violating it are more salient than the benefits of adherence. Willpower is the measure of your ability to deliver on that.

Willpower is not static, and your ability to override the influence of the PIG can increase or decrease according to certain lawful principles. Local conditions such as anger, fatigue, or a run of bad luck can deplete this power. So, like an athlete it is important to train hard to develop this strength and be vigilant for circumstances that would deplete it.

Willpower Enhancement Notes:
• Making a commitment is like making a bet. Each loss weakens you; each win strengthens you. Honoring a commitment enhances willpower; failure to adhere to a commitment diminishes willpower.

• There is a difference between a goal and a commitment. A goal gives direction; if you lapse you can benefit from what you learned. A commitment is not a learning exercise; by making a commitment, you are foreswearing all excuses and explanations for failure.

• Since you cannot guarantee outcomes, do not commit to outcomes. Commitments must be procedural. For example, you can guarantee that you will perform a History Review [review of the sequence of events that led up to and followed a moment of decision] within 24 hours of the occurrence of a high-risk situation.

• Avoid bets you cannot win in your lifetime. "I will never again search the internet for porn” is such a bet. You don't get to win it until you are on your death bed. Better to go for one day at a time ─ even better is one hour at a time [see the delay method in Chapter 5.5: Coping Tactics].

• Make the commitments short and manageable, but once made, permit no exceptions to occur! Go for what you really want, but realize that more ambitious goals tend to come with a higher price. So be careful about over-committing. Remember, whatever you promise, you will have to deliver.

• Go for little wins. If you have had a history of violating commitments, you are starting out in a hole. Be especially conservative and make sure you honor every commitment without exception. If you do, you will over time re-establish the power of your word.

• People often do pretty well in the beginning, because their commitments are fresh in their mind and hence are salient. However, with the passage of time the salience of the original commitment decays. So periodically review your commitment and why you made it – see Hard Copy Page.

o As rule of thumb, once the crisis that originally motivated the commitment recedes into the past, your motivation becomes more a function of local circumstances than of the now distant commitment. The PIG, which at first supported the commitment ─ when you wanted immediate gratification of the desire to be free of the problem ─ must be overridden when the commitment is far away and the incentive is near.

• The more you exercise a behavioral sequence the easier it is to perform.

o For some individuals, vowing abstinence and then lapsing has occurred so often that they lose the ability in influence their own actions. Their life’s course is no longer determined by their intentions, but by the path of least resistance.

• Be aware that you are free to specify any commitment that you choose, so never make commitments unless you are certain that you will be able to adhere to them under all circumstances implied by the commitment. Because you are free to specify the details of the commitment, you have no excuse not to adhere to it.

o Remember, when you take this bet you are giving long odds; one loss overcomes many victories. It is critical that you adhere to every commitment you make. So specify clearly what you are committing to, and don't accept a commitment unless you are serious enough to bet your reputation that you will adhere to it on every occasion.

• A commitment may be stated formally as an implementation intention [form: Whenever I encounter X, I will Y] – for example, "Whenever I experience an urge, I will visualize the penalties of lapsing.” Note: coding the intention as a negative, e.g., "I will not think about sex" is poor form [see The Imp of the Perverse].
The true goal of this effort is for you to exercise your intended reactions to stress and temptation until they become your defaults. The Impeccable Path is the most straightforward and direct way to achieve this end. Conceptually it is simple, and for some individuals this direct approach is an excellent option: Change your lifestyle and permit no exceptions, and after a while you will have become familiar with your new, but nevertheless idiosyncratic, path: Your path of greatest advantage.

The problem with this approach becomes evident if there is a single lapse. This is a brittle method! Once a commitment is broken the ability to honor future commitments is compromised, and there is no longer a defense against complete loss of control.

In contrast to the rigid path of no exceptions, The Open Path is flexible. At each point, you are free to make decisions on the basis of local circumstances, and what you consider to be in your best interests at the time. Needless to say, anything as valuable as freedom comes at a price.